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And it's a chance I'll have to break - I am burning my retinas... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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And it's a chance I'll have to break [Feb. 25th, 2007|12:43 pm]
[Current Music |Smashing Pumpkins]

I was thinking.
I think too much, but yet not enough.
I talk way too much.
I should be more silent.
I say nothing.
And when I do speak it is redundant.
I do not know how to properly feel.
I should restart.
So from now on, my words shall be fewer. And my eyes shall be more aware.
I need to be aware of the things that I think.
I know.
I always have. Except for once. But I was tricked and I did not know better. I have learned. Boys do not know what they mean by the words they speak. I know how much I want to feel.
I fear most of the day. And I do not want to give up my fear. It makes me who I am. I flinch. I am prepared. I am unaware.
I am hard into someone. But I know better. People do not change their minds, especially when the initial thought was incorrect to begin with. I strive off of his infrequent small chatter.
I miss things.
A lot of things.
I am so confused.
But mostly I am afraid.
Right now I know, and I will say anything. I will not expect anything.
I just want to be touched.
I think this will be softness for a week or so more.
But I will not talk.
Not unless...
Calls will not be made.